Before Graduation...

English Version (中文版本在下方)

Written in June 2022

The Elephant in the Room

Even though I spent less than a quarter of my four university years actually on campus, and my connection to NTU was often more formal than real, I still remain grateful for the perspective and confidence the university gave me.

After entering college, I often felt that I had chosen the wrong major. But life only lets you keep correcting course; it does not let you rewind. At the very least, I did not end up surrendering to opportunity cost and locking myself into a golden handcuff.

What I want to write next is partly about education and partly about graduation itself. Most of it comes from my own experience, mixed with some social observation. I hope it helps more people notice the elephant in the room.

A Rotten System

I have never had much respect for Taiwan’s education system. From a young age, I realized that I was deeply unsuited to rote education. I was always curious, always asking questions, always wanting conversation.

Lecture-based learning was something I struggled to adapt to. I was better suited to learning by doing, research, or participatory exploration. For that, I got scolded more than once and experienced treatment that now feels absurd in retrospect.

Only after growing older did I realize that there are many kinds of learners. The problem was not entirely me. The system itself was outdated.

The Nature of Education

We are still using an education system invented in the nineteenth century to train factory workers, while expecting growing minds inside that system to solve the complex problems of the twenty-first century.

We expect contradictory traits to coexist in the same person. We want you to fit in and stand out. We want you to think flexibly and obey gently. That absurd contradiction is the reality of education in Taiwan.

We spread the same fertilizer over the same field and still expect different flowers to bloom. We impose universal education while designing a system that truly serves only a minority. We agree that society is more complicated than A, B, C, and D, yet keep trying to judge everything with multiple-choice questions and scores.

The Logic of Qualification

One fortunate thing in my academic path is that a bit of cleverness was enough to let me survive exams. It made me into the lovable troublemaker in the eyes of teachers and gave me a little more freedom.

The contradiction is that only after achieving something inside a system do you earn the right to resist it.

More Humanity

If I had to summarize Taiwan’s education system in four characters, they would be: simple and brutal.

A society obsessed with efficiency naturally worships standardization and scores, while forgetting that each person is an individual. Now that we have more room to breathe than in the past, perhaps what we need is simply more humanity.

Period or Comma?

As the chapter of education comes to a close, my life as a student is also about to end within the next month, though perhaps years later I will realize it was only a comma.

I do not dislike learning. What I dislike is passive memorization and tests with supposedly correct answers.

Essentialism

Looking back on my four university years, I may have survived in a somewhat shameless way, but I did try to follow the principle of essentialism, spending time only on what mattered most.

Feeling Alive

Even when I finally held my graduation diploma, I still did not quite feel graduated. Graduation is still a milestone. The excuse of being “just a student” is gone, along with the comfort it provides.

The questions that remain are simple and difficult: who am I, where am I, and where should I go?

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寫在畢業前夕…

中文版本

本文寫於 2022 年 6 月

房間裡的大象

儘管四年的大學生涯待在學校的時間不到四分之一，和臺大的連結也是形式大於實質，但依舊感謝這所大學帶給我的眼界以及招搖撞騙的本錢。

雖然上大學後常有選錯系的感慨，但人生也只能不斷修正而無法反悔，至少最終沒有屈就於機會成本而被金手銬所束縛，不幸中的大幸，我想。

接下來想寫一些我對於教育的看法，大多源自我個人經驗的投射，和些許社會觀察，希望可以讓更多人意識到房間裡的大象。除此之外也想胡亂紀錄些畢業當下的所思所想，希望未來的自己會不經意翻到，記起現在的妄想。

陳腐的體制

對於台灣的教育體系我一向不敢苟同，從小就發現自己對於填鴨式教育十分無法適應，總是對事物充滿好奇，也異常喜歡發問和交談。

所謂聽講式教育我有很嚴重的融入困難，可能比較適合自己動手研究或是參與式學習，然而為此我沒少挨過罵或遭受現在想起來匪夷所思的對待，令小時候的我不禁猜想是不是我特別奇怪，並以為這一切都是我的問題。（也謝謝爸媽包容從小鬧事的我哈哈）

然而，等到長大之後，我才發現學習的類型本來就有許多種類，也許有問題的不完全是我，而是陳腐的教育體制。

教育的本質

我們至今仍沿用十九世紀為了培養流水線工人所「發明」的教育制度，並要求每個成長的心靈能在這樣的模板下應付二十一世紀的複雜問題；我們要求從小都被教導在座位上聽講的學生，未來要多踴躍發言和保有主見。我們期待在同一個人身上有相反的特質，希望你既合群又突出，期待你舉一反三又乖巧溫順，這樣荒謬的矛盾便是現在的台灣教育，我們便是在這樣的環境長大。

我們在同一片土地撒上同樣的肥料，卻希望能開出不同的花；我們強迫所有人都接受義務教育，卻設計只服務少數人的體制；我們都同意社會不只是 ABCD 那麼簡單，卻期待用選擇題與分數評斷一切 …

資格論

回顧整段求學過程，不幸中的大幸可能是倚靠小聰明還能勉強應付學校考試，變成老師眼中可愛又迷人的反派角色，雖然省不了日常生活的責罵，卻多了些學習上的自由。

而矛盾的現實便是，只有當你在某個領域取得成就，你才有反抗的話語權。

正如同你必須努力考上台大才能大談學歷無用論（還有可能被抨擊站著說話不腰疼），必須證明自己在原系所名列前茅才有轉系的資格，對於這些事例我至今仍覺得彆扭但也無法反駁。但也因此我才能有一些發表言論的重量，畢竟我也算是升學制度的既得利益者，雖然我完全不認為這是正確且有效的教育方式。

多點人性

「簡單粗暴」，讓我為台灣教育下註解的話應該是這四個字。

追求效率的社會便會崇尚分數與標準化，忘卻每個人都是獨立的個體，忘記人類社會不斷的進步便是為了打破框架和刻板，我們對比過往多了更多餘裕，已經不用為衣食煩惱之時，也許要做的是多點人性，我們並不需要所有人都推著世界轉動，正如同 80/20 法則中的蜂窩，也僅是少數蜜蜂辛勤工作的成果。

總的來說，逐漸放棄過度依賴考試的陋習絕對是值得嘉許的，推薦與甄選才是人類社會性的本質，也更貼近現實的運作，希望未來的教育可以更少的壓迫，更多的自由，讓小孩擁有更健康的環境，更快樂的成長。

句號，逗號？

結束教育的篇章，我的學生時期也將在接下來的一個月內畫上句號（也可能數年後發現是逗號），回顧過去十六年的生活，不可置信的是，我竟然耗費將近五分之一的人生在不喜歡也不擅長的事情：「填鴨與考試」，不要誤會我並不討厭學習，相反地我始終對世界保持好奇，但我至今仍不習慣被動的填鴨和有標準答案的考試。

果然人終究無法反抗體制，美好的歲月就是這樣的流逝，後知後覺，庸庸碌碌。然而大學四年也並非一事無成，雖然在學業上找尋不著熱忱，但憑藉不捨的探索（同儕壓力…）幸運地踏入名為「商業」的世界，積極並求知若渴的想瞭解這一切。

對商業的好奇也許是刻在骨子裡的：產品、行銷、銷售、成長、擴張，一切都是那麼有趣又引人發想，同樣的資訊有不同的見解，同樣的敘事存在不同的策略，同樣的事件卻有不同的應對，彷彿窮盡一生也無法參透解答，也彷彿自動在某些人的腦袋中高速運轉。

精要主義

綜觀大學四年，我雖然苟且偷生的過日子，但也秉持精要主義的精神，將時間花在最重要的事情上，回想這段旅程只覺得自己運氣極佳，能夠找到讓自己熱血沸騰的事物，並遇到許多貴人相助。

當見識過憑空便能建立企業機器的思路之後，心情已然從震撼轉為崇拜，潛移默化下也逐漸激起另一片浪花。儘管過程中也時常自我懷疑和迷失，但發現新世界後的狂喜是騙不了人的，先天與後天都缺一不可，風險趨避或風險愛好也不只是二擇一，一邊抱怨著汲汲營營一邊擁抱頭銜自得其樂，能做的只有多方嘗試，用僅限的時光走遍足夠多的選擇，最終直面自己的熱情。

活著的實感

直到手上拿到用透明資料夾裝的畢業證書卻依舊沒有畢業的實感，也許是因為很早就不再盡學生的本分了，很早就脫離上課、讀書、考試、報告的循環，儘管如此，我仍舊會不停學習只是場域不僅限學校。

畢業應該算是個里程碑，不再有「學生身分」作為失敗的藉口或安逸的理由，無論從哪個角度切入，都必須全權為自己的選擇負責。雖失去了穩定安逸的避風港，但也獲得全然的新生；雖伴隨著焦慮和恐慌，但人生於世總會遇到這些難題：我是誰、我在哪、該往哪走？

儘管拖延遲早也需要面對，我反而認為這些質問才是人活著的本質，只有當意識到死亡的那刻我們才真正的活了，定義自己則是永無止境的旅程，反求諸己後發現一切都朦朧未可知，彷彿有無限可能又撲朔迷離，一切的一切，只有到入土為安那天才會由後人為你蓋棺論定。最後只祈禱能問心無愧，保持初衷，勇敢作夢。

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• Reflection
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